Quick! Someone call the fashion police!
This morning I had the great idea of throwing together a few different looks that Marie Claire has published over the last few months. This included: Rolled up chinos and boots, a studded waist belt, a statement necklace and some muted sequins. Now - the issue we have here is instead of looking stylish, I have walked out of the house looking like a cross between a Communist assassin and one of Aerosmith's road crew. What I have completely forgot to consider, is how this mish mash of styles makes my body look. My party arms are not ready yet, and after inputting it into my food diary, my stomach is bloated from 1000 cals of hot apple and rum cocktails. I've got no makeup on because I'm taking a coarse of sunbeds to try and sort out my zits and as much as I love these chinos, they make my arse look massive.
My hair is a bit of a disaster too. I got up an hour early today to try and make it look like the picture above (The aim). - As you can see (The Result) - it doesn't really capture the "Born Free" look. According to Marie Claire I was going for an "Unrestrained" look which "signifies a relaxed, free spirit. A glossy, low maintenance look style shouts health and fertility". Erm OK. What I achieved was a frizzy look which signifies someone that clearly can't style their hair properly, a style that shouts "perm" and "busy".
To combat the dodgy hair and clothes at work, I've skipped down to Kendals on my lunch hour to douse myself in on of the perfumes Marie Claire recommends to "wow at work". I figured I could distract people from the way I look today with the way I smell. I chose... and I quote "Today's shoulder-pad substitute" Nina Ricci's Ricci Ricci.
So I'm sat here..
Typing....
Wondering when the wowing will begin.
So far nothing.
I'm being ignored.
People are busy eating their dinner and checking facebook.
I'm sure the wowing will start soon. I'll keep you posted.
