Saturday, 3 October 2009

Spot the Spot (G Spot that is)

In October’s sex advice, I was told to purchase a book called “Female Ejaculation and the G Spot”. This struck the fear of god into me. Not because I’m a prude and not up for donning my kakis and helmet and going on safari down there to find said subject of this book. But because I need to call Amazon about another book that didn’t turn up, and after ordering THIS book, don’t feel I can speak to someone on their customer care team EVER AGAIN.

The book turned up last week, and as a joke – I asked lodger to open the package for me because I was cooking. She fell about laughing, mainly due to one of the contributors being called “Annie Sprinkle.”

So over the last few evenings I’ve been having a read. It’s full of really dodgy language like “Female waters” and compares sexual organs and functions to things like fountains and caves. This was enough to get husband, wetting himself…. With laughter.

There is chapter after chapter about how finding the G spot will seemingly ad to my female liberation, it’s history, it’s importance etc etc. OK, fair enough, but I don’t think I will ever be obsessed enough with it to read a whole book on it – especially when I’m still finishing the picture of Dorian Grey from 2 months back!

The book comes with diagrams, which completely befuddled husband, and this morning I had to spend a good 5 minutes convincing him not only of the orientation of said diagram but also that the things in the diagram actually existed. To which he exclaimed “this is the shittest diagram I have ever seen in my life”

I won’t be updating with you to the progress of discovery – mainly because I don’t think you ever started reading this blog to discover the inner anatomy of my love cave or whatever weird and wonderful way this book likes to describe it! But, as this is part of the Marie Claire project, rest assured it is part of October’s agenda. (Sorry Lodger!)