Sunday, 4 October 2009

Don't eat plant food - even nice eye make up won't save you

Yesterday evening started off as a civilised affair. I had arranged to meet H for dinner, she’s getting hitched next week and so a pre wedding get together was called for.
I decided to try the Smokey eyes and rock chick look in the October issue, and as I love any excuse to trowel on eye make up was really pleased with the results.

A bottle of wine and double rum and coke later, Gizmo turned up. Gizmo has been referred to by a different name earlier in the blog. I’ve decided to change her name because she has an innocent face that can get her out of any sort of trouble. Gizmo had been drinking since 2 in the afternoon and met us at nine, so was very well oiled and we needed to move on to start playing catch up.

We decided to move on to a birthday gathering on the other side of town, meeting Husband and H’s husband to be. Once in the pub, Gizmo produced a little bag of capsules she had bought over the counter at a local herbal high shop. I mean, how bad could they be? They were legal, they we herbal (so must be good for you!) and alarmingly labelled up as “Plant food” – but the legal and herbal bit won out so I ate one.

Fast forward 2 hours, husband had possibly told every person in the pub he loved them, had eyes like saucers and was bouncing off the walls. Gizmo and I had managed to both fit into one chair, and trap a lovely poor girl in the corner while we yabbered at her, only breaking to run off and yabber at someone else. Every time we were on our own we concluded that people couldn’t get away from us fast enough, but then forgot this, and carried on verbally hammering utter crap at anyone that was within a 2 meter radius.

At one point I insisted that everyone play “guess where my top is from” – because it was from Tesco, and for some reason I felt that this was vital piece of information that needed sharing. I’ve got holes in my memory but I’m absolutely certain of a few things.
1. I repeated myself
2. I said something inappropriately over familiar to someone I had just met.
3. I asked the same person the same question 2 or 3 times, forgot the answer - then asked it again.
4. I over shared
5. I told people I loved them
6. Judging by my throat this morning, I was talking about 10 decibels higher than I thought.
7. I talked a heroic amount of crap.

I lost all sense of self awareness, and accused husband of having saucer eyes and talking to much…. Completely ignoring the fact that my pupils had taken over my iris and I hadn’t shut up for about 4 hours solid.

We both woke up with the fear this morning – and both concluded that these “Herbal highs” contained as much herbs as a student’s shopping trolley. So I have no photos for you – because I was too busy talking, and I want to put last night in the “One to forget” draws in my brain’s filing cabinet.