When I was younger I invented sex, that’s at least what I thought. I had no shame in over sharing and did it with enthusiasm. As I’ve grown older, I’ve become coyer about the subject. I’m not sure why, maybe because I love every molecule that makes up husband, so feel it’s a subject that can no longer be treated with flippancy. It deserves more respect than that.
But never the less, as lovely as it may be, there is always room for a bit of a shakeup in the old bedroom department.
The talking dirty didn’t really work. First and foremost I’ve got a broad northern accent, have you heard dirty talk in a broad northern accent? To me it just sounds stupid. More so it sounded contrived, and didn’t so much as turn husband on rather it tickled his funny bone. Not THAT funny bone either. So I think we will shelve the dirty talk for future bedroom antics, until I actually have something poignantly dirty to actually say.
Setting the alarm half an hour early worked once or twice, but one thing Husband and I share a common love of is sleep. So the appeal in a morning lies firmly in favour of that extra half hours sleep.
Putting on some porn didn’t happen, because the porn DVD we had managed to request at Betty and the Ranger’s wedding turned up today. I blushed as I took it out of the envelope, then hid it away in my handbag, that I then realised used to be my Gran’s handbag… then everything started to feel a bit wrong, so I walked away from the handbag…,
I gave husband a back massage as per the article, which he really liked but relaxed him a bit to much, rather than have him spring into a ravenous sexual beast.
As for the rest – even for me it’s too far into the realms of over sharing – just be assured, we followed the article and as far as I am aware husband is neither scared or has any complaints.
