Originally uploaded by mariecandme
Falsies make an appearance in October’s Marie Claire, which both excited me, and filled me with dread. Whenever I’m feeling a bit flush, I go to MAC and have one of their makeovers. For £25, you get your face done, but then get that £25 back in products. Usually I will include some falsies in this £25 and the makeup artist will apply them with one swift movement, making the whole operation look easy.
I’ve learned over time, that coming at your eye with a wispy spider’s leg coated in glue – is definitely not an easy task. I have since ruined every pair of MAC eyelashes that I have ever bought, due to the glue drying before I’ve managed to get the trajectory right. This is why it wasn’t my greatest moment when I decided to wear the falsies I had bought for October, to my friends wedding.
I followed the makeup tips and everything was going OK. I tried a number of tactics to avoid the act of applying the falsies, making a brew, getting dressed, drying my hair etc. But the time came when all I had left to do, was to apply the glue and somehow manage to attach the lash to my lash line rather than my eyebrow. This my friends, took me nearly 40 bloody minutes.
I’d stick one end down and the other end would flick up in defiance. “YOU WILL NOT KEEP ME DOWN” they seemed to scream as they put up a heroic effort to peel themselves away from my eyelids… taking my eye makeup with it. I started to panic, because it was getting close to the time we needed to leave in order to get to the wedding on time. My panicking consisted of faster but less calculated movements with the eyelash towards my face and then squawking at husband as if it was somehow his fault – even though he was in the kitchen and I was in the bathroom.
So I admitted defeat on one corner, and let this curl up away slightly, hoping that either no one would notice, or those that did would be too polite to say anything. I asked husband who is usually always a bit too honest and he said he couldn’t tell so I felt I was good to go.
The wedding was lovely, and the lashes stayed in place all day. Even after a fair amount of Vodkas and Wine and laughing. My friends, Mr and Mrs Z who were staying with us mentioned that they had been reading the blog and asked me what on earth I was thinking of when I bought my snakeskin shoe boots. The answer is – I wasn’t thinking, and I ask you again out there. If anyone wants to buy them off me for £50 email me at email@example.com. They have been worn only once and it’s only sheer luck that I didn’t break my neck. I need to walk before I can run when it comes to “fierce footwear” I think!
Mr Z writes a blog on here too actually - Check it out at http://betweensympathyanddetachment.blogspot.com