Tuesday, 16 June 2009

Does this inspire you? NOT REALLY!

Yesterday my big boss from London came to see us, so on Sunday night I conceded that I would make an effort for work. However, on trying to ply my eyes open on Monday morning - this all seemed to fly out of the window. I was so tired that the most effort I could manage, was putting on a dress (only because it didn't need ironing), scraping my hair (which blatantly needed a wash) back into a bun and putting on a bit of makeup. I looked dead, I felt pretty dead too for most of the day.

When I caught my reflection in the mirror midmorning, I looked tired, uncoordinated and my spots had broken through the shroud of cover up on my face and were waving at everyone shouting "look at meeee, I'm Mrs T's acne 10 years after I was supposed to arrive!!!"

I vowed then, that the least I would do when I got in was ask Lodger to help me fake tan. But by the time I had got home, cleaned the crack den of living room post Evil Jody et all veging out on Sunday, and cleaned out Kenneth and Steve my Guinea pigs, I just wanted to collapse.

I managed to make myself fish fingers and a tin of sweetcorn for dinner, and the cats some fish fingers as we had run out of cat food. Then plonked myself on the sofa to plan a calendar for my July list. Remembering what a client had said to me a few weeks ago, I decided to see if I could find any of the albums that July Marie Claire recommends on Spotify. I am truly now down wid da Kidz.

So the first Album I found was Chairlift - Does this Inspire you. The verdict - yes, it does inspire me.. to punch someone in the face! The first track was the sort of lyrically twee bilge you would expect to hear on a T mobile advert. Some bird twittering on about Strawberry's and buttercups and sponge cake and handstands or whatever. My ears were offended so they tried to block it out. I'm quickly offended by the inoffensive, folk pop with lyrics that try so hard to be quaint. I bet Radio 2 is already knocking down their door trying invite the band over for tea and biscuits. Duffy invokes a very similar reaction in me but involving slightly more stomach acid.

As the album progressed, it tickled my gag reflex a bit less, the music on it's own could have been verging on Ok in parts, but both the male and female singer's voice were too insipid. They made me want to go outside and eat some dirt to balance out the taste their warblings left in my mouth.

The second album was Little Boots - Hands. I can't work out if this album is genuinely really good, or it just seemed that way because I'd just sat through the Chairlift album. Anyhow, it was definitely less offensive to the ears. It had a bit of edge and although completely unmemorable as I couldn't tell you about a single track on there now - I do remember thinking it wasn't bad. Poppy, up-beat and not full of lyrics that would appeal to your mother and trick her into thinking she like "cool youth" music.

So that was 2 albums down off the list, listened to completely for free. I'm kind of enjoying seeing how much of this advice I can follow on a budget as it would be easy to get carried away with the spending.

Today has been very productive. On my lunch I went to the nearest Chanel counter to pick up my free mascara. When I went into the store, there was a massive sale on so I thought I would go and have a gander at some of the clothes to get an idea on what to buy for July.

One of the fashion stories is all about hues, colours that really don't compliment my blue grey skin tone, but the advice on the page was that they should be worn with fake tan. Nestled in the rails of the Kookai concession was a fine Knit top in a blush colour for £10. Unfortunately, due to being built of wood, I don't have the dexterity to get round the back of my dress and unzip it. The last time I attempted to get out of this dress alone, I was drunk in a hotel room and trying to eat a fillet of fish at the same time. It was one of my lower moments, but after 30 minutes of a Houdini like struggle I managed to wrestle out of it. I don't have that sort of time on my lunch break, so decided to buy the top and take it back if it doesn't fit. (Bloody Kookai and their obscure sizing scale)

Then with a few minutes to spare before my lunch was over, I booked in some laser treatment and a food intolerance test which, reading up on it looks like hocus pocus, but it's free at a local health clinic so I'll report back on that after the event.

I also did a bit more research into this interval training. It looks pretty nasty (In the context that my exercise levels are currently 0 and this would mean some form of physical effort). Lodger may be up for this, and maybe my friend Blondie - she's a doer, she tends to be up for any form of physical torture because where I am made of wood, she is largely made up of Wheatabix and finds it all a. easy and B. enjoyable (Freak). Apparently I have to have a base fitness level before I even begin to endure this http://www.losebellyfatworkout.com/ - But check out the fat guy on the home page and what he became after 8 weeks of interval training. Not only did he lose weight, he became a fit man and a fit WOMAN. Wow.