Friday, 15 July 2011

Age Against The Machine

Hello there!
Remember me?
I was the one who used to write a blog called “My Life According to Marie Claire”.
In a nutshell, I vowed to do everything Marie Claire told me to do for a year. It was a strange little journey, sometimes good, sometimes bad, but more often than not quite funny. The aim was to find out if you did EVERYTHING a fashion magazine told you to do, would you eventually end up looking like the wistfully happy, beautiful, rich, stick insects that drape across the pages?
One of the tasks was to look into my fertility, which opened up a whole new can of worms and ultimately took the journey on a different path. I had to stop the blog. I am now at the end of that path. Older, fatter, completely knackered and the proud mother to a strapping little chap.

I have not been churned out the other side of pregnancy and birth ala Abbey Clancy, who (THANKS NOW MAGAZINE YOU SHITS) was pictured just 12 weeks post birth, in a bikini looking like she’d spent the last 12 weeks in a health spa. I have been churned out a dress size larger, complete with stretch marks, or “baby lightning” as I have dubbed them as it makes me feel hard. But the one thing that has really bothered me is how absolutely knackered I look. My lifestyle of hardly any sleep coupled with a heroic amount of cake seems to have aged me a good few years.

This got me thinking. The anti aging industry is a powerful machine. Promises of creams, injections and operations to turn back the clock are everywhere. But what actually works without you having to staple the loose skin from your jowls back behind your ears? I got googling and found an article from the Daily Telegraph’s Web site “50 Ways To Look Younger”. The article states “None of these suggestions is going to make you miraculously appear a decade younger, like a candidate on a makeover reality show. Nor will they turn you into Claudia Schiffer or Keira Knightley. Pick out what appeals to you and give it a whirl. There's nothing to lose but a few wrinkles.”

Luckily, I’m not aiming for a decade off, or miraculously turning into a celeb. I just want to look like me, pre baby. Halting the decent into a life where I use double sided sticky tape to fold my eye bags back up on themselves. So if like me, you are interested in what is hype and what actually improves the facial furrows sign up and hopefully this little journey will be as fun as the last one. (I’ll try not to get up the duff this time). X Mrs T