This weekend was Ace, The Lady and The Dancing Queen had organised a fantastic hen do for Betty down in London.

When I was packing my bag to go, I was rifling through my clothes trying to work out what would work all day and night and also look good in London. London, where buttoning your shirt up right to the top, not brushing your floppy hair and growing a new wave handle bar moustache is perfectly acceptable – and that’s just the women (Boom Tschhh!)

So I went for the “When in Rome” shorts, boots and blazer from the August issue. The day started off OK. Well - as ok as it could - I stayed and Bendy’s flat (Bendy is a Mr and Mrs that have defected from the Northern massive down to the big smoke). I got up, did my hair then discreetly asked Girl Bendy if my tash needed tending to. Being the naughty little nymph that she is….. she none discreetly called Boy Bendy over and asked his opinion. Which he summed up very succinctly as “Alright Adolf”.

I took this as a firm yes and was shamed within 10 minutes of getting out of bed!

The hen party started with lunch around at The Dancing Qeen’s flat, with champagne. Then we went off to see Chicago in the West End, breaking for gin and vodka. This was followed by the London Eye where we had a champagne reception in one of the pods which was ace.

After the eye we all went back to the Lady’s for a disco themed party with cocktails, more food and more booze.

The booze was really starting to kick in, when Girl Bendy and I decided we wanted to get more in the spirit of things and have some Disco themed glitter makeup. Being part of a sensible and mature group of friends, this got slightly out of hand when the Lady’s sister decided a green glitter tash and beard was just what Bendy needed. Opening this can of worms resulted in us all ending up with green glittery pictures of knobs, boobs and tashes all over our faces – and it wasn’t even 10pm.

So dear readers, this kind of ruined the outfit. I tried, I really did. But I make what should be a very stylish outfit look butch. I think I’m beginning to realise that whole size 0 debate now. Walking coat hangers make anything look good apart from their mental health. Is it a choice? Look great in clothes and pictures but completely out of my depth eating a meal with friends having a laugh and a drink?

Lets face it, I’m in no position to speculate about anyone’s mental health when I freely spent 6 hours of my life last night with a spunking green glitter knob on my forehead!